Apparently I'm stressing about the half. I thought I was being pretty calm about it. I'm relaxed and confident and I'm actually getting really excited about it. But the past three nights I've had really weird stress dreams about running. Friday night, I dreamt that I woke up Saturday morning and called Nikki to meet up and run, which we had real plans to do. My friend Mary, who doesn't know Nikki at all, answered her phone and said "Nikki is busy, she can't run with you right now". We played a lot of phone tag and by the time I finally got a hold of Nikki three hours later, she had already gone for a run. I went home planning to run by myself but kept putting it off until after dark. I decided to run in the dark but spent 15 or 20 minutes trying to tie my shoes and just couldn't do it. I never did get my shoes tied and I woke up. But then I got out of bed, ate breakfast, met up with Nikki, and ran 7 miles in the rain. It was great and I should have had nothing more to stress about. Saturday night, I dreamt that the half was moved up from March 26th to March 10th and I was freaking out because I wouldn't be ready in time. I woke up weirded out by so many running dreams. Sunday night, I dreamt that I woke up early Monday morning to go for a run, something I also had plans to do. I got in my car and drove to my old neighborhood to run but when I got there, realized that I could have run in my new neighborhood so I drove back to Cleveland Park. When I got here, it was too late and I had to get ready for work. I woke up even more weirded out and went for a short run in my lovely new neighborhood. I got ready for work and all was fine.
This all implies anxiety and stress at my upcoming challenge in March. But I just find it so weird because, in my waking life, I don't think I'm scared. I'm just excited. Maybe on some deeper level I'm scared. Or maybe I've just been thinking a lot about running so it's naturally what I'll dream about. Right now, I hate that we think dreams need to signify all of our deepest fears and desires. In fact, I don't think that. In this case, I don't think there needs to be a deeper level. I'm excited, I'm getting myself ready, I'll have butterflies the day of the race but I'll be fine, and I'll probably keep dreaming about running but it's just because there's a lot of it going on in my life right now. Which is a very good thing. So, byebye stress dreams. I won't let you stress me out.